Biltmore Oswald. The Diary of a Hapless Recruit

Thorne Smith

A comic diary about entering life in the Navy. Published in 1918 and written for the Naval Reservist journal The Broadside while the author Thorne Smith was in the Navy, it is a series of short vignettes poking fun at the culture of the time in general and the military in particular. Its the diary of Biltmore Oswald, a hapless naval recruit with no appreciable talents besides befriending animals and getting into trouble, and his day to day adventures during World War I. Oswald, a naive innocent young gentleman growing up in the early 1900s, finds himself in many a compromising situation: showering in the hotel room of the wife of a murderous, jealous man; observing French men greeting each other with kisses, and being pursued by beautiful women, much to the displeasure of his sweetie, Polly. Biltmore Oswald: The Diary of a Hapless Recruit is a must-read for anyone in need for a dose of entertaining, worthwhile writing.

Did She Fall?

Thorne Smith

This early work by Thorne Smith was originally published in 1930. James Thorne Smith, Jr. was an American author who specialized in supernatural fantasy fiction under the byline Thorne Smith. Did She Fall? (1930) is a straight murder mystery whose dialogue shows occasional traces of Smiths wisecracking energy. Americas bawdiest, wittiest writer turns his talents to a startling novel of murder, suspense and brilliant detection. Welcome to the Crewe house, where it is one for all and all for one. Unless, of course, you are the beautiful blonde, Emily-Jane. When she was bad, she was very, very bad, and when she was good, she was luscious until somebody killed her, or did she fall? So many would-be murderers, but only one would get to her first. Who will win out in the end?

Dreams End

Thorne Smith

A New York advertising executive leaves his job in the city to write poetry in a hut by the sea. Once there he finds himself caught in the coils of his attraction to two women a situation that so unsettles his wits that he falls prey to a heavily symbolic dream obsession. The story centers on a love triangle that develops between Landor, the niece of the man hes staying with, Scarlet and the wife of the local land baron, Hilda. Dreams End is a radical departure from Thorne Smiths humorous novels, and was, in fact, Smiths first book rejected by publishers until his Topper novels became successful. Fans of Thorne Smith are likely to be intrigued by this book for its gothic nature and for an unexpected glimpse at a more serious side of the author.

Out O Luck. Biltmore Oswald Very Much at Sea

Thorne Smith

James Thorne Smith, Jr. was an American writer of humorous supernatural fantasy fiction under the byline Thorne Smith. He is best known today for the two Topper novels, comic fantasy fiction involving sex, much drinking and supernatural transformations. Smiths literary debut was Biltmore Oswald (1918), the comic fictional diary of a hapless naval recruit, drawing heavily on wartime experience with the Navy. Episodes had featured in Broadside. The book sold well enough to allow the appearance of a sequel, Out o Luck (1919). The book continues hapless sailor Oswalds exploits in diary form throughout 1918 and the armistice and up to his eventual demobilization. Many of the entries have little or nothing to do with navy life and some of the best could easily stand alone as short stories, the best of which has Oswald looking for a bath and ending up in a duel.

Rain in the Doorway

Thorne Smith

Who hasnt waited for a ride in the pouring rain and wondered if there wasnt something more to life? This is exactly how we find poor Mr. Owen, hopeless and downtrodden, wet and miserable. Suddenly, he is swept in through a doorway to a place full of wild imaginations, where loneliness and unfulfilled dreams are a thing of the past. It is the story an adulteresss husband who embarks on inebriated adventures with his various partners and a girl who works in a pornographic books department. A fantastic thread of plot, plenty of wise cracks, and plenty of sex run riot through its pages. Those who have read and enjoyed Smiths work will love Rain in the Doorway, an entertaining and risqué tale of forbidden love and compromising situations.

Skin and Bones

Thorne Smith

Thorne Smiths imaginative novel Skin and Bones takes the concept of suffering for ones art to a whole new level. This classic book contains the humorous and fantastical story of Mr. Quintus Bland, the eminent photographer, whose efforts to perfect X-ray film had, one evening, the unfortunate effect of leaving Mr. Bland in the position of an X-ray film himself; in other words, him found himself no more than a walking skeleton. Blands flesh does not merely become invisible but intangible. Can he make a life worth living with this condition? A great read, this book is thoroughly recommended for inclusion on the bookshelf of any home, where it is sure to become a family favorite.

The Bishops Jaegers

Thorne Smith

If youre in the mood for a wildly hilarious comic romp, give Thorne Smiths The Bishops Jaegars a read. Mad, hilarious, degenerate, or simply fun fantasy? Only the reader can decide. Adrift and listless, a wealthy coffee heir Peter Van Dyke is searching for meaning in life. His young secretary Jo decides to shake things up and help him get back on track. Although he is engaged to another, she has far from given up. Laughter ensues as they go from one mishap to another along with fiancée Yolanda Wilmont, a pickpocket, a bishop who is desperately attached to his jaegers, and Aspirin Liz. Before long, they find themselves at the center of a bizarre coterie of characters who invade a nudist colony. The Bishops Jaegers was published in 1932.

The Glorious Pool

Thorne Smith

Perhaps the best example of Thorne Smiths acutely sharp social humor played out against a backdrop of the Prohibition. 60 year old Rex Pebble inadvertently discovers that the fountain of youth happens to be in his back yard swimming pool. A magical statue of a nymph by the name of Baggage, an ornamental pool decoration, has playfully endowed the Pebble swimming pool with the power to reverse the aging process. From there Rex, his wife and his mistress of twenty years, Spray Summers have one exciting, completely hysterical adventure after another. Wild hook-and-ladder rides, police chases, flowing cocktails and different levels of undress will keep the reader thoroughly entertained. Thorne Smith brings to life the possibility of the fountain of youth. The Glorious Pool, published in 1935 after Thorne Smiths death was completed by his wife, Celia.

The Night Life of the Gods

Thorne Smith

In Night Life of the Gods, we meet Hunter Hawk, wealthy eccentric scientist in 1920s America, who, after numerous explosions, manages to invent an atomic ray that turns living beings into statues, and a second ray that restores them to their original state. With the help of Megaera, a fetching nine-hundred-year-old lady leprechaun he meets one night in the woods, he masters the art of transforming statues into people. Together, the two are invincible, especially when they get to New York City, where there are museums full of statues of Greek and Roman gods and goddesses, waiting to come back to life... Author Thorne Smith puts his seemingly boundless imagination to good work in The Night Life of the Gods, a rip-roaring novel that postulates about what would happen if ancient deities were revived and allowed to run wild in the streets of Depression-era New York City.

The Stray Lamb

Thorne Smith

In The Stray Lamb, author Thorne Smith draws inspiration from his most famous works, the beloved Topper series. It follows mild-mannered investment banker, cuckold, ordinary, faithful, and dipsomaniac T. Lawrence Lamb. He is given a new perspective on life through the eyes of many different animals as he assumes the shape of many including a stallion, goldfish, dog, lion and many others. Mr. Lamb gains wisdom, fresh insight, and a new much needed exuberance for life as he exchanges the mundane for the slightly insane. Thorne Smith again shows his mastery of the comic fantasy tale as Lamb lurches from one mishap to another, reeling from his wifes abandonment and the actions of his headstrong daughter and reveling in the new opportunities that his excursions into animal form provide.

Topper

Thorne Smith

Thorne Smith best-remembered for humorous novels, many turning on some fantastic plot device which thrusts the protagonist into grotesque predicaments, often via unwitting transformation. The 1926 publication of Topper brought the author immediate acclaim. Elegant, fun-loving George and Marion Kerby are the toast of the town, until they wreck their flashy car and discover theyve become, well, ghosts. Making the best of a bad situation, they decide that being dead is the perfect opportunity to liven up stuffy Cosmo Topper. The capricious ghosts make it their mission to rescue the law-abiding, mild-mannered bank manager from the staid summer of suburban Sundays that is his life. With their ectoplasmic reappearances and whimsically insane actions, they leave Topper, and anyone else who crosses their path, in a whirlwind of discomfiture and delight.

Topper Takes a Trip

Thorne Smith

Cosmo Topper is an average American bank executive on holiday in the French Riveria. Feckless, fun-loving and totally uncontrollable ghosts, George and Marion Kerby and friends the tortuously crooked Colonel Scott and his companion, the disreputable Mrs. Hart return to bring chaos and merriment into the life of mild-mannered, stuffy, and somewhat plump, Topper. One of Thorne Smiths best-loved comedies, it proves once again that he is the undisputed master of urbane wit and sophisticated repartee. His witty takes on modern life, sex, and the supernatural makes his unique style. Written in 1932 as a sequel to the enormously popular Topper novel, Topper Takes a Trip takes the reader for another a walk on the wild side. Come join the fun. Youll be glad you did.

Turnabout

Thorne Smith

Another magical, mischievous Thorne Smith classic. Though Thorne Smiths most popular works involve elements of fantasy and science fiction, the clever novel Turnabout takes his penchant for incorporating supernatural and magical themes in his work and puts one such plot twist to use as a comedic tool. A classic battle of the sexes, it was published in 1931 and follows a married couple who fall prey to the tricks of an Egyptian idol who grows weary of the seemingly never-ending spats between the Willows and causes them to switch bodies. As you might expect, hilarious hijinks ensue. The novel also inspired the last episode of the original series Star Trek, Turnabout Intruder.